What are you working for? More pressing: Why?

I’ve been at the same job for over a year now. In many ways, this is a huge accomplishment. I am 22 years old, living on my own (with boyfriend), fully(ish) independent from my parents. Like, have my own health insurance, independent. Having a “real” job for a year is a major accomplishment and an opportunity that I am very grateful for. But lately, I’ve become pretty disenchanted with it.  There is not a lot of room for growth at such a small firm and I pretty much peaked in the position after 6 months.  I know how to do my job and, horn tooting aside, I’m pretty good at it.  So, I’ve started to have this itch that it’s time to move on.

For a lot of people this is mostly daunting in the “how” category.  They know what they want, it’s just a matter of making that happen.  I’ve been really been stuck back on the “what”.  I want a change but I have no idea what I want that change to be.  The more I sat and stew on this conundrum, the more upset I got- What do I want to do?  Not even with jobs, just anything?  I drew blank after blank and eventually just started doodling flowers in my journal because those feel nice and better than crippling self doubt.

What I discovered, while hiking around last weekend (go figure), is that I can’t pressure myself into figuring this stuff out.  The more I was pushing myself to answer this question, the more overwhelmed and despondent I became.  So, during the mile or so that I hiked by myself last Sunday, I took a breath, and let my mind wander to stuff that I’ve day dreamed about in the past and to things that have been important for me for awhile, whether or not I’ve been aware of it.

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And voila! Here’s my List of Goals to Score (SPORT METAPHOR)!

  • Keep increasing fitness – I am not known for my physical prowess (stop laughing, Amanda), but I have been trying to at least maintain a decent baseline fitness mostly so I can keep up with Collin in the mountains.  Lately I’ve reached a plateau and haven’t been motivated to push myself out (off?) of it.  So, I’m going to work on running longer/faster and on putting yoga back into my routine as well because I haven’t done yoga all summer and a headstand would be a sick party trick.
  • Learn French – I had planned to take French during my last year at UNH but then, with accelerating my graduation, I couldn’t fit it into my schedule.  I’ve  also wanted to go back to Paris ever since I left in 2011 and it’d be magical to be able to speak the language if/when I go back.  Community College classes here I come!
  • Volunteer at an animal shelter – I miss having animals around and I have a lot of free time so, it’s only logical that I spend some time cuddling some puppies and kitties who really need it.
  • Learn about grant writing – Pending investigation, I think this could be a good career move for me.  I love to write (you had no idea, right?) and I would still like to have a job where I feel like I’m “doing good”.  So I’m going to learn more about the field and what I can do to get some background in it.  How cool would it be if I could write grants for animal shelter funding?!
  • Become a master blogger – Not really, but maybe!  I’m going to try to keep writing here more consistently and one a lot of different topics – I even have a list!  Setting out time for myself and this blog has been really great for me and I want to keep it up!  It also means that I need to start taking more pictures because, let’s face it, just word only posts are really boring.

Having a tangible list of things to achieve feels so good.  I don’t feel like I’m floundering and wasting my time.  I have the “what” to work towards and, more importantly, I have the “why” and that feels awesome.

Daily motivation and "take a breath" reminder.

Daily motivation and “take a breath” reminder

“Growth is not a steady, forward, upward progression.  It is indeed a switchback trail: three steps forward, two back, one around the bushes, and a few simply standing, before another forward leap.” – Dorothy Corkille Briggs

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My keychain is from Three Potato Four which is a cute lil online shop that sells collected stuff and home decor along with these key tags.  Collin has one that says “RAD” for obvious reasons.

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